Co-op Preschool

A few moms from our LDS Congregation (ward) started a co-op preschool this year. None of us really have the money to send our kids to a preschool, nor would I really want to – I want to know exactly what is going on with my kids, and exactly who is teaching them. I know the moms pretty well, and our kids have played together for the last year since we moved in. We all have similar standards and I know my kids will be safe learning from them, and being with their children. Plus – once every few weeks, I get to teach them all!

The preschool was really easy for us to form. We met together and made a list of topics we want to cover. Then one of the moms made a schedule for us, rotating houses/moms each week. I put together a box of supplies (crayons, scissors, etc – we mostly all just donated a little of this and a little of that from our own supplies instead of purchasing supplies specifically for the preschool box – it worked out the best and was virtually free). The other mom bought a few posters (a calendar, the alphabet, etc) that we had laminated and put in the box to rotate homes.

Our schedule is really loose, and we’re not picky about anything – it’s preschool after all. We have our preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 9:30am – 11:30am. We start with circle time where we talk about the calendar and the weather, and sing a few songs. Then we do coloring/activities for a number and a letter. Then we get into the lesson, and do some crafts or games. We also have snack time, then lay down for a few minutes, then we read books and have free play.

It’s pretty low key, and more than anything I think it just helps us feel like we are involved in getting our kids ready for Kindergarten (three of the four start Kindergarten next fall).

My favorite part is that I teach two days, and then I don’t teach again for a few weeks, and I get to send my high-energy four year old off to his friends house for a few hours two days a week. It’s such a fun thing because the kids love each other, and we moms only have to put in two days every four weeks or so. Basically the return on investment is very very high. I’m loving it!

Do you send your kids to preschool? Do you co-op with other moms? Do you just do it yourself at home? What kinds of things are you working on with your kids to get them ready for Kindergarten?

Sorting Practice

I have always been a believer that the best learning happens when kids are doing something that matters. Like cooking, cleaning, or, in this case, sorting laundry.

This is a great activity for your preschooler, because they can learn a lot of things – first, they are practicing sorting (and this is beyond just sorting by ‘color’ because they have to use classifiers like ‘light’ and ‘dark’ and ‘bright’). Second, they are learning that their clothes don’t just magically go from the laundry basket to their drawers. I have let my kids load the washer and the dryer since they were big enough to sit up on top of the dryer (top loading washer + dirty clothes + baby = baby putting things in a container – and what baby doesn’t enjoy doing that!) but now V is old enough to learn how to sort laundry, so sometimes they help me sort the laundry. J likes to help, too, but we have to tell her where each piece of laundry goes. She’s learning, though, and can sometimes do a few on her own.

What “real  life” activities do you do with your kids? How do they learn doing every day activities? Do you let them help with the dishes? Sort the laundry? Mop the floor? What concepts do you see them learning as they participate in daily life at home?

When Our Parenting is Wrong

Several years ago, I had a religious instructor who I dearly love. He was a Christ like example to me in just about everything. He is the one who taught me how to be a good parent.

When I got married, he gave me a book of essays that he had edited along with another author. For a little background, this instructor has a Ph.D. in marriage and family relations, was an associate professor at the Utah State University, and is now a Professor and Family Life Specialist with the University of Arkansas Coorperativer Extension Service. You can check out his website here at DrWally.org (we called him Uncle Wally).

In this book, one of the biggest things that spoke to me was when Dr Wally mentioned that often, as parents, we “erroneously assign motives to our children.” How often have you thought that your child wanted to make your life miserable, or wanted to spite you, and that was why they were throwing that tantrum in the middle of the grocery store?

Dr Wally says that “as adults we credit children with the manipulative and devious motives that we see in ourselves and most other[s]…” The problem with this is that we know that babies are born innocent into this world. Some religions may teach that infants are fallen and need to be baptized, but I think that most of the Christian and religious world (and even the secular world) believes that babies, by their very nature, are innocent.

Children are precious, innocent, little angels that have been placed in our care – and we have a very serious, very important responsibility to love, protect, and teach these children.

Dr Wally reminds us that “when we get past our judgments and assumptions about our children and when we approach them humbly, we are able to love and bless them.”

And my favorite quote from him: “Our automatic reactions in [this] world are almost always wrong.”

This brings me back to my post last week about not saying “no” to your children. How are you doing? This week, try to stop when you feel your “automatic reaction” to your children’s behavior. Because whatever that auto-response is, it is probably wrong. Let’s remember that our children are precious and it is our responsibility to teach them and “train them up.”

Just Say No to No

We say “No” to our children entirely too often for my taste. Especially the little ones. Is it any wonder that the first word of many babies is “no”? With my first, I was always very careful not to say “no” to him. If he was getting into something he shouldn’t be getting into, I would redirect him and show him something he could get into. (For example, if he was trying to pull out the glass bowls, I would show him the plastic ones, trying to make them look infinitely more appealing than the glass ones – then I would push the glass bowls farther back in the cupboard).

I don’t know if it’s because I am older and so I’ve forgotten a little more what it was like to be a child, or if it’s because I have two children, or if it’s because we moved five times last year and drove half way across the country for four of those moved, or what – but I say “No” a lot more. Especially with my baby. Which is ironic.

So, I am going on a “No” strike.
I am going to try my hardest NOT to tell my children “No.”

Now for those of you worrying that I am going to spoil my children, I didn’t say that I was going to allow my children to do anything they wanted to or get anything they want. But there are better ways to stop undesirable behavior than saying “No” all the time, and I want to experiment and see if it makes my children more obedient and me less stressed.

Think about it. If you’re doing something someone doesn’t want you to do and they say “Stop that right now!” you would probably get frustrated – not to mention embarrassed. But what if they said “Hey, could you come over here and help me with this thing? If you keep doing that, ____ is going to happen.” (fill in the blank with the reason why you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing). It is also helpful, I think, to talk about why that thing happening is undesirable. Face it, if you tell a two year old not to throw something on the floor because it will shatter into a million pieces, they will probably throw it on the ground. But if you say “Why don’t we put that glass bowl up here on the counter. If we drop it an it breaks, we won’t be able to mix our cakes (cookies, etc) in it.” And then, immediately act – that is, if said child isn’t obeying right away, gently guide their hands to put the bowl where you want it (use only as much force as is necessary to get them to do it – you may not even have to touch them, they might just need you near them to do it.

Here is a real life example from this morning. I bought some cheap plastic planters from the store to repot my poinsettias, and they were sitting out while we were cutting out letters (more about that later). Well, empty buckets are just begging to be stepped in, so in go the feet. At first I wanted to yell “No! Get your feet out of my planters!” in a really stern tone. And I got as far as “No” before I remembered that I’m trying not to do that. So I said, “These pots aren’t for stepping in. If we step in them, they might break, and then we wouldn’t be able to put our plants in them” (since I had promised earlier that the kids could help plant the poinsettias, this was very effective). And then rather than stopping there, I said, “Why don’t we sort our letters into the buckets?” which was met with enthusiasm and we sorted letters.

So, which was more instructive? Just saying “No! Don’t step in my pots!” or what I ended up doing? Not only did they learn that if they step in stuff, it might break, but we also ended up with a fun sorting game that ended up being really educational.

This can also extend to your children asking for something to eat/do/play to which the answer is “no.” Instead of your child asking “Can I watch T.V.?” and you responding with “No.” try responding with an alternative activity and then participate in the activity WITH your child. For example, “Why don’t we read a book together, instead?” “Why don’t we go ride bikes?” “Why don’t we go play in the rain/snow/sleet?” (okay, I’m kidding about the sleet… but you get the picture). Same with food. “Can I have some cake?” “Why don’t I cut up and apple and let’s dip it in peanut butter?”

Here is my challenge to you – for the next 31 days (I’ll remind you on the blog) try to use alternatives to “no” with your children.

Here are some suggestions to help:

1.) Redirect the behavior. If possible, show the child how to use the object in a desirable way, or how to act in a desirable way in the circumstance.

2.) Explain how the action is offensive/undesirable, and try to explain why and make it matter to them.

3.) Get up and move. Physically help the child to do the desirable action. Be gentle, but firm.

4.) PRAISE the child when they begin to do the desirable action.

 

Let me know how this works for you. Is this your parenting style already? How does it work for you? Are the other methods that you use to try not to say “No” to your children?